Life .

So monotonous  !

So humdrum !

The mind is numb. The vicious circle of thoughts  the same , day in and day out.

The physical activity a strain.

Is this depression ? Is this what the rest of one’s life going to be like ? What is the interest in living ?

One goes through all the outward appearances of happiness. A party here ,  an outing there. You laugh you guts out . You look after your appearance , one grooms oneself well. Look attractive , take momentary pleasure in compliments.

But deep down…….

Does one really ever experience happiness ? The pure joy of feeding your baby , holding him close to your heart , an extension of oneslf, the totally pure love in your eyes , the implicit trust and confidence in you which shines out of the baby’s eyes ,  the absolute pure innocent love with which the baby looks at you !

That happiness never comes back.

The empty nest is stark and decaying.

There is no inner joy ! Everything is for momentary pleasure. To prevent you from falling into a well of self pity , self loathing ,  self destruction.

Turning to God,

Turning to physical pleasure,

Turning to friends , hobbies , people….

All  to prevent oneself from going stark raving mad with loneliness and depression.

And the epitaph will still read..a life enjoyed and lived well !

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