So monotonous !
So humdrum !
The mind is numb. The vicious circle of thoughts the same , day in and day out.
The physical activity a strain.
Is this depression ? Is this what the rest of one’s life going to be like ? What is the interest in living ?
One goes through all the outward appearances of happiness. A party here , an outing there. You laugh you guts out . You look after your appearance , one grooms oneself well. Look attractive , take momentary pleasure in compliments.
But deep down…….
Does one really ever experience happiness ? The pure joy of feeding your baby , holding him close to your heart , an extension of oneslf, the totally pure love in your eyes , the implicit trust and confidence in you which shines out of the baby’s eyes , the absolute pure innocent love with which the baby looks at you !
That happiness never comes back.
The empty nest is stark and decaying.
There is no inner joy ! Everything is for momentary pleasure. To prevent you from falling into a well of self pity , self loathing , self destruction.
Turning to God,
Turning to physical pleasure,
Turning to friends , hobbies , people….
All to prevent oneself from going stark raving mad with loneliness and depression.
And the epitaph will still read..a life enjoyed and lived well !